The Seven Deadly Hair Sins

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There’s a point at which you stop being a creative hair DIY-er or a trendsetter and start being an idiot. Yes, the desire to be fashionable and/or funny has led many an otherwise sane and intelligent person down the road to ruin, and you’ll only know you’ve gotten there when it’s way too late. Just so you know, though, there are seven things that, if you do them, will not earn you any pity here. Our friends at BellaSugar wrote them all down so we may never forget.

Get a mullet. If history has taught us one thing, it’s that mullets will eventually come back into style and then go away again, leaving a trail of humiliating photographs and a lifelong sense of shame. Don’t be that person.

Shave something “funny” into your hair or the hair of a friend. Are you a soccer hooligan? Oh, OK then.

Allow a small child to give you a haircut. It’s adorable that little Matilda thinks she’s a hairstylist, until you only have one ear and your right eye won’t open all the way anymore.

Put anything incendiary in your hair. Sure, there’s that guy who gives haircuts with fire, and the idea of putting sparklers in your pigtails for July 4 sounds really cute. Also unrelated, some people survive going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, and I think it would be sweet if I had a pet stingray.

Decide to get dreadlocks without professional help. Hey, you know what actually takes a lot of dedication? Maintaining clean, good-looking dreads. Just not brushing or washing your hair for two months isn’t going to do the trick. If you’d like to test the strength of your friendships, though, go for it.

Use beauty-store bleach without a license. It won’t matter that you’ve gone platinum if you’ve also gone bald.

Put glue in your hair. Unless you’re Johnny Rotten, this classic punk hairstyling “trick” is a great way to end up cutting off all your hair, or at least rip half of it out. Fun!

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